Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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