i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
