So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
