I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
vagina is talking i cant
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
did i just pee glitter
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
