So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
