Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize