There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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