wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize