i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
