why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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