ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
