I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
