I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
