i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
well you can't waste a boner
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
