Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
