My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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