what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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