Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize