You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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