I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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