i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
