he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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