it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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