he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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