so explain again why im purple
no
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
