How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
