Will you blow on my dice?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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