You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
