toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
