do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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