well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
