nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
