she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
