32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
