yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
