I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
