i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
