The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
