I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
