hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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