i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize