I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
