Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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