Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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