Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
