3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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