Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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