omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
