Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize