How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there's paper in my vomit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
