the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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