sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
