Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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