Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And then my night got REAL pukey
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
