I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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