Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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