You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
