i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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