I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
