CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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