no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
