oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
