Buhtt sex?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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