I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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