Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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