marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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